• Sarah Caltieri

Higher Than Before

Updated: Mar 24, 2021

Higher Than Before This song was originally written when I was twenty-three years old, sitting on my bedroom floor in a heap. I’d been losing my sight over a period of a few months as a result of a type 1 diabetic eating disorder (similar to bulimia but which involves omitting insulin). It had been a rough time. I had been having laser surgery to zap all the extra blood vessels which were growing at the back of my eyes and leaking blood into the fluid preventing me from seeing properly. The condition was a result of the damage I had caused by omitting insulin for several years to help me lose weight, a very common problem with type 1 diabetics. I’d been over the eating disorder for a few years previously and was now able to pursue my passions properly. I was on Holiday in Greece with a friend, when I noticed my vision had changed. I knew something was wrong as I’d only got a new prescription for driving glasses a few weeks earlier. As soon as I got home to England (with a broken shoulder needless to say as a guy had pulled me over in a drunken state of excitable dancing in a bar the evening before the flight) I went straight to the optician (after the trip to casualty to fix my broken shoulder) and he noticed I had started developing the condition “diabetic retinopathy.”

Treatment The treatment was thousands upon thousands of laser shots to the backs of my eyes to stop the bleeding. In the proce