• Sarah Caltieri

Shout Sex!

Updated: Mar 24, 2021

Shout SEX!!!!

OK, I’ve been slightly misleading about what this blog is about but I’ll explain. Picture the scene: a care-home at Christmas, in the dining room, with seven or eight medium sized tables. Seated around the tables are roughly six or seven people ranging from the ages of 70 plus to 98 (all are sporting a Christmas hat). Mum and I are sitting with Grandma Caltieri (who has now unfortunately got Vascular Dementia). I’m sitting next to a lovely lady called Dorothy who used to ride a motorbike (she’s 98). “Mum, let’s get a lovely photo of everyone shall we?” I take a few snaps around our table, then Mum (who looks like butter wouldn’t melt whilst she’s rattling out complicated Bach and Beethoven numbers on her piano), suddenly grabs the camera from me and says “here, give it to me I’m going to take one of the whole room.”

Being a teacher, she pretty quickly gets everybody’s attention to look at the camera and smile. To my dismay she then says to everybody “Right, you must all shout SEEEEXXXXX!!! If you say CHEEEESE, your mouth looks odd if the camera catches you in the middle of the “ch” on the photo. Deadly silence. A couple of folk who were hard of hearing whispered “What did she say we had to say?” Dorothy next to me asked too…”Er... sex" I replied. In the next instance, the entire room of elderly people kept shouting “SEEEEXXXXX”. And were roaring with laughter, there was some excitable muttering and Dorothy turned to me and said “Ooooohh me mind’s on all sorts now.” “You just concentrate on your turkey Dorothy” I repli